My offer to write Donald Trump’s resignation letter

Signing a document

Let me say from the start that as much as I would like to see Donald Trump impeached and removed from an office he has disgraced and which he repeatedly disrespects I don’t believe that is likely to happen.

To bring articles of impeachment against a President requires a majority vote in the House of Representatives. When the case is tried by the Senate, a vote of at least 2/3 of those present is required to convict and remove the president from office.  The political reality suggests that this is an unlikely way to remove Trump from office.

I believe it is far more likely that Trump will resign the Presidency rather than suffer being ousted through impeachment.  As hard as it is to believe, my theory is shared by Senator Diane Feinstein (D-CA) who has said: “Donald Trump is going to get himself out of office soon.”  Senator Feinstein suggested the President would quit before he was potentially forced out of office after anti-Trump protesters in Los Angeles demanded to know why more wasn’t being done by Congress to remove him from office.  And Senator Feinstein is not the first to suggest that the billionaire tycoon may decide to quit the White House of his own volition.

So when the day comes that the thin-skinned Trump ego can no longer endure the daily pummeling he gets from Members of Congress including members of his own party; the media (fake or real); the endless commentaries and memes that daily spread virally over the internet or the criticism and barbs he gets from foreign leaders it will be at that point that I believe he will decide to quit his part-time job as POTUS and retreat to his gold man caves in Trump Tower and Mar-a-Lago.

And when that happens he’ll need a well-crafted statement explaining and spinning his reasons for giving up the most coveted and powerful political job in the world.  And that’s where I could help him out.  And by out, I mean way out.  But out in classic Trump style which would enable him to leave The White House with his reputation and image not only intact but actually embellished.  After all, that’s the real end game for Trump – to burnish his brand.

I’ve served as the public spokesman for many major organizations which, from time to time, required me to issue very carefully written statements that were designed to say a lot without saying much.  So I am happy to offer this suggested draft statement for Mr. Trump to use when he inevitably decides to resign as President:

My fellow Americans: 

While I am proud and honored to be your president nothing is more important to me than my children, grandchildren and my dear wife, Melania.  And as much as you may need me to lead our country I have discovered that my family needs me even more.  It has been especially difficult to be away from Melania and Baron.  The prospects of uprooting them from the home and community they love to move to Washington would be a very difficult transition for them.  It has also been very difficult for my adult children and grandchildren to not have the head of the family close by and involved in their lives.

 I am happy that I was able to win The White House, bring victory to the goal of a Republican led Congress, and advance a nominee for the Supreme Court that will strengthen the conservative values on the bench.  I’ve laid out a clear agenda and put in place mechanisms which will return the government to the party of Lincoln with a strong conservative agenda.  So I think I’ve done as much for you as you need from me.  Now it is time for me to return to my family and business, both of which need and depend on me to be present.

 I am confident that Vice President Pence will succeed me admirably and capably and he will make an excellent 46th President.

 Thank you for the honor you have bestowed upon me.  Now that I have set the nation on the right path I feel that my work in Washington has been completed and I have done all I can do to assure the future success of our country.

 Thank you and God bless the United States.

 Donald J. Trump

Now it is worth noting that the only other American President to resign while in office was Richard Nixon whose letter of resignation famously only included eleven words:

Nixon resignation letter

Trump loves to set records so he could one up Nixon with an even shorter resignation message should he choose to just say these six words: “You can’t fire me, I quit.”

But that’s just not the Trump way.  Walking away from a failed project or suddenly shutting an enterprise down is his way.  He has abruptly shut down many of his businesses leaving behind vendors, employees and others stakeholders with nothing but an Out of Business sign and a padlock to remember him by.  Here are some of the Trump businesses from which he has walked away:

  • TRUMP AIRLINES
  • TRUMP BEVERAGES
  • TRUMP: THE GAME (a board game in partnership with Milton Bradley)
  • TRUMP CASINOS
  • TRUMP MAGAZINE
  • TRUMP MORTGAGE
  • TRUMP STEAKS
  • TRUMP TRAVEL SITE
  • TRUMP COMMUNICATIONS CO.
  • TRUMP TOWER TAMPA
  • TRUMP UNIVERSITY
  • TRUMP VODKA

So if Donald Trump needs a resignation letter written I’m his guy.  I’d be very happy to do it.  And by very happy I mean ecstatic.  And because Trump always likes a deal or is unphased when he stiffs his vendors I’ll make it easy for him by waiving my usual fee.

Mr. Trump, the letter is ready for you as soon as you are ready to order the packing boxes and call the moving vans.  And one more thing, sir, for the sake of the nation, the sooner the better.

Trump Moving Van

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